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Taylor Swift

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Taylor Swift
    So Taylor rips open the boring white dress -- which we now know was dumb and shapeless and lumpy because it had to conceal another costume and then get torn away -- to reveal that she is Helena Bonham Carter crossed with Nicki Minaj with a sprinkling of Carrie Underwood. In a way I'm surprised she waited this long for total on-stage drama, but I'm concerned this might be ushering in an era of unitards and leotards and innumerable other pelvis-abusing garments. And then THEY will want to write some songs.