Hey, Fergs — you got a little something on your shoulders. It looks like…bird:

This outfit — like so many at the AMAs — reminded me of a mash-up of a variety of other things. A little Emma Watson at the HP7 premiere, a little Blake Lively in Boobs Legsley: The Blake Lively Story, a little Law and Order: Sesame Street, in which lesser-known Muppets are being hunted for their pelts, a little bit of that time in 3rd grade we got to go to the ostrich farm. All that being said, I kind of like it. It’s dramatic — it makes me wonder if Fergie is looking back on what a flop Nine was and is wishing she’d held out for Burlesque — and kind of ridiculous, but in a way that I think is actually quite sassy and fun.

However: 

Awk. Ward. She is standing like this in a LOT of the photos from the AMA press room and I don’t know why. It does not look particularly sexy. It looks, in fact, how I look when I try things on for Heather – you know, when we blow off work and go to the mall — and am compelled to make ANTM Broken Down Doll Poses and then I catch myself in the mirror and I say, “this looks ridiculous!” and Heather goes, “you would probably not ACTUALLY STAND LIKE THAT,” and then I have to admit she has a point. So I’m just going to pretend Fergie Ferg is having a long and fruitful convo about Miss J with the press corps and confine myself to wondering if this thing sets off the metal detector at the airport.