ACM Awards Fug Carpet: Shania Twain

I literally do not even have words for how much I hate this. What is stronger than, “this don’t impress me much”?

It is so weird. First of all, it’s possible that Shania Twain is the only person in America still wearing stretchy thigh-high boots plus a mini who is NOT: a) working the main stage at The Landing Strip, b) a Julia Roberts impersonator, c) strutting it on RuPaul’s Drag Race? Second, I keep trying to envision the conversation Shania and her stylist had about this and every time I do, SOMEONE makes the kind of face you do not want to see from a beauty professional. In short: I truly do not know how this happened, and I would suggest someone be fired, but I suspect that would end with Shania firing herself, and someone’s got to keep paying the rent on her Swiss castle.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (51):

  1. goldfish

    I would like for there to be a pool on how many times some variation of the word “pirate” will be used to describe this ensemble in the comments here today.

  2. Mongerel

    Gulp! Opposite reaction from me. She looks outrageously sexy in that. I would love to see that in motion, and watch how it swings and flutters.

  3. Eliza Bennett

    AAArrrgghh. “Man, I Feel Like A Fugger” or “(These Tawdry Boots and Limp Mullet Hem)Don’t Impress Me Much.”

  4. deee

    Her face is cute and she IS covered up. It’s insane but we have to remember that it’s a country awards show. The women of country music are generally not known for their subtlety.

  5. Susan

    I was getting on the subway this morning at 10 AM and I saw a woman in a very similar outfit. I wanted to follow her to find out where she was going. I couldn’t think of a reason to wear that outfit at that time of day.

  6. goldfish

    I think she looks like an action figure. But is that the look she is going for?

    • Carol

      Depends on what kind of “action” she is seeking, although I also thought “superhero” when I saw the flanges dangling from the rear of the, uh, “dress” (for lack of a better word).

  7. Rayna

    Srsly, she owns a castle in Switzerland?

    I love her, but this is So.Very.Wrong.

  8. CakesOnAPlane

    I can’t get past the Jerry curl in the middle of her forehead. I’m really bad at spotting fake hair but this…is not all her hair, correct?

  9. gina

    I like the action figure comparison. But even an action figure might veto that hem. And add a cape. A yellow one! I digress… Shania, you’re lovely, and I’m glad your thighs pass scrutiny because good god, those poor things.

  10. Groceries

    I can’t stand her for a jillion reasons. Add this to the list.

    The hair? Remember that twirly-curls Barbie with the hair egg beaters that always got tangled up in her hair? Real egg beaters don’t work for this, SHANIA!

    • Tiffany

      OMG, I remember the hair egg beaters! I used to use them on my friend! ;)

      • Grace

        Hahahaha! I had those egg beater things too. They never ever worked, and all this time, I thought I had a bad one! Thanks for the memories.

    • Tom

      You’re either a woman or gay man then? Because 99% of straight men aren’t thinking about what method she used to style her hair. They’re thinking about grabbing a handful of it to arch her back when they bend her over the nearest table or counter. She’s drop-dead gorgeous, no matter what she wears or how her hair is done.

      • Claire1

        OK…I know that this will cost me some major “I am woman hear me roar” points….but I love Tom.
        He pretty much voiced what my husband has said in the face of me making a comment about what some star or other is wearing…
        Tom FTW.

  11. Karen

    Could the shapeless dress be due to a pregnancy? Or hoping to start a bump-watch to increase her popularity? I haven’t heard anything from her since her short-lived reality show on O.

  12. Elle

    I can see Mongerel’s point. This woman is the anti-Swinton: healthy, sexy, and gorgeous.

  13. Mouse

    I feel like, since she hadn’t been there in 10 years, she was trying to remind people of her glory days and therefore dressed the same way she was dressing 10 years ago.

    Y’all know which one I’m talking about. Black dress, black boots and fringey choker thingy.

    • Sarah

      I also immediately thought that she is still dressing the same, which I feel like is a very bad idea if you were very popular at one time and since then have been out of the spotlight. Under those circumstances, you should probably be trying a bit harder to be relevant to today.

    • Rebecca

      Yes. She was never very stylish to begin with, her clothing choices were all about showing skin. She performed concerts in sports bras and leggings. She’s a beautiful and sexy woman, but she never was able to show that off in the best way and that’s continuing. I imagine she doesn’t use a stylist, either.

      • Mair Mair

        Agreed. To the best of my recollection, she’s always dressed badly. So nothing new here.

  14. goldfish

    Girl is pushing fifty. I don’t think it’s a bump.

  15. Stefanie

    I hate the whole thing. It looks so…dated. And the 90s Marariah Carey hair? Oh god.

  16. Tiffany

    I always got the impression that she was uncomfortable showing her figure, but had to for her job. It doesn’t surprise me that she wore something that doesn’t hug her figure, isn’t showing cleavage…the panty hose are a bit of a shocker, though. Hopefully she will find something a little more current next time around!

  17. Beth

    Is she still relevant? I thought she went away a long time ago.

  18. The Other Molly

    I often wonder why she continues to gear her look to men who were 12 in the 1960′s.

  19. Marion

    I really did not hate this all that much until I saw the back. Oh, the horror.

  20. Lily1214

    It has a dated look.

  21. dryland

    I remember reading eons ago that Shania hates her legs. So that may explain the boots at least.

  22. Amander

    I cannot decide if she looks like she tied a giant man’s hoody backwards around her body (with the arms flapping), or if this was created by a bored goth-kid from polar fleece and grade school scissors.

  23. Peter

    Ladies, your all wrong and your claws are showing. Shania looked great and a lot better than toothpick taylor who always looks like a extra from night of the living dead.

  24. Mrs. Ditter

    I wore this exact look once with a sheet when I needed to get from the shower to the laundry room and grab some fresh towels. Except I didn’t have the boots. STARS: they’re just like us!

  25. Vandalfan

    I’d take this hair over Swiftie’s any day, but the hair and the strapless mini look belong on a teenager. Really, I think this makes her look old and desperate.

  26. Helen

    I just find the unflattering silhouette and the fact that the weight of it, together with the strapless style, drags down her boobs, to be collectively unforgivable. Twain has a gorgeous figure. When she’s on a red carpet, I want to SEE it!

    The superhero aspect, I like. Just… get a dress that fits and flatters, that’s all I ask. This is not it.

  27. Sandra

    I should be more sympathetic given that we were born just four weeks apart, but I’m just going to go right ahead and blame Canada.

  28. Lyra

    I saw a head & shoulders pic of Shania in this on MSN and thought, “What a nice look for her. She looks classy for once.”(I thought she was wearing a simple strapless black gown.) And then I saw the whole outfit here. *shudder* Definitely a scrolldown nightmare. Hooker boots?!?! Seriously?!

    I do like her hair here though. I think it looks soft and pretty. Shania is a beautiful woman with a stunning figure. It’s a crying shame that she doesn’t know how to dress herself to her best advantage. It’s like she’s stuck in some outdated Frederick’s of Hollywood idea of sexy.

  29. Jane

    She’s a lot like Faith Hill in this respect: absolutely stunningly beautiful (and aging extremely gracefully), but seemingly incapable of EVER dressing well on a red carpet. I seriously don’t remember ever seeing a picture of either of them and thinking, “Wow, she looks good.” Still, I have a soft spot for Ms. Twain because of how real and vulnerable she was on that OWN mini-series she did. She’s lived through some tough stuff (most recently courtesy of her best friend and her husband betraying her), and yet she’s still hanging in there, not hiding away in that Swiss castle.

  30. Joemama

    She IS beautiful and looks the picture of health. That having been said, I wish she would’ve dressed in something besides her formal towel and Kardashian boots. She looks like she’s trying SO HARD, which is something she does not have to do.

  31. Miss Bea Heyvin

    I think both Shania and Faith Hill were styled by Skeeter Rae’s House ‘o Country Curtains.

  32. Mabs

    Google the woman. This IS her. Love it, hate it…she’s consistent. lol

  33. goldfish

    She has as big a gay following as Kathy Griffin. Does she not have better access to quality styling??

  34. Grace

    It’s good for Shania Twain. She’s worn some doozies in the past. But dare I say I kind of, sort of like the dress? It could have worked with different, modern shoes. Apparently, it’s backless and more of a dress to drive the boys wild, and not a fashiony dress.

  35. Claire1

    we have this little Chihuahua dog.

    Long-ish black fur that is a little wavy…..and ride down the back of his haunches is this long fur that is brown ( his paws and ears are brown too)….
    Well….we call this fur his Butt-Feathers…..because that’s what it looks like, feathers.

    She is wearing the the Buddy dog version of a dress….complete with Butt Feathers.

  36. kaz

    Thigh high boots! Really? the Queen of Country Pop is a disappointing flop. So pretty, yet so tacky. Shame.