A 2012 Fugtrospective: The Year Kellan Lutz Became Hilarious

So, as heartthrobs go, I never really was able to go there with Kellan Lutz. I maybe used to call him Kellan Yutz. I might even have used “Klutz” to name the folder into which I saved all these photos. But then a funny thing happened: Kellan Lutz grew facial hair and became amazing. Intentionally or not — and I suspect not — it gave him this undeniable aura of hilarious mischief. So between that, the amazeballsificence of his Essential Homme cover (you’ll soon see), and his absolutely intentional self-parodying awesomeness on 30 Rock, I am now a staunch believer that the right comedic role would put me on Team Lutz forever. As it is, I’m considering volunteering to be the water girl.

[Photos: Getty, Jessica's iPhone]

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Comments (53):

  1. Liz985

    Oh. My. Goodness. Thank you for the wonderful laugh this early morning after Christmas. It sucks being at work, but when you can laugh out loud at something as funny as this, it’s all OK.

  2. Stefanie

    “…but who has made more than a few girls “disappear” for a year after promising them marriage and a cook.” I read this as “marriage and cock” and I was like “Well that escalated quickly..”

    I’ve always had a soft spot for Kellan. It dates back to the days of me and my BFF obsessively watching Generation Kill for the Nate/Brad eye f’ing that was going on. Kellan ended up being the comedic relief needed to break all that sexual tension. And then I put it together that he was the guy from Stick It and you could officially call me a fan.

    Also, has Jackson Rathbone always been that hot? They did him a disservice in Twilight.

    • Leelee

      OH MY GOD – he’s one of the guys from Stick It!! How have I never put this together before?
      Well, now my love for him has just increased tenfold.

  3. Danna

    He reminds me a bit of Jon Erik Hexum. Yes, I am officially OLD!

  4. Mare

    Oh my! What was in Heather’s eggnog this year?

  5. Jenny

    He always looks like such a tool. I don’t get his appeal at all.

  6. Laura

    He wears more makeup than I do, and as an amateur Tammy Faye wannabe, that’s saying something.

    • Abigail

      Yes! What is that?

    • Erin

      And this was going to be my comment, but aimed at all men in general. I guess we can blame it on HD TV, but man oh man, why on earth are they caking the foundation on these men?! And what is up with the lip color? If the lips are dry, smear on some Vaseline, not something that simultaneously washing out the natural lip color and and makes it an unnatural pink.

  7. Elle

    I too admit that I’ve never been Team Kellan-as-Hearthrob-via-Posters-All-Up-On-My-Bedroom-Walls, but I have to admit this is pretty hilarious and gives me a new found… appreciation for him.

    I also appreciate the sneaky Jackson Rathbone inserted in there, because unlike Kellan, I find him totally drool-worthy even if he does show up places looking like a poor man’s Johnny Depp.

  8. Helen

    Normally facial hair puts me off, but I have to admit it works for him.

    He’s also looking better balanced in the face now his hairline is receding. Which is happening awfully early, but hey, it suits him! He’s going to be a very handsome older man some years from now. If he doesn’t do something stupid like get a wig.

  9. Dazie

    Put me now firmy in Team LutzRathbone’s camp. Because really- they look pretty fun, and they usually look clean, and they both have lovely smiles.

    I know that Kellan Lutz is super buff and all, but every time I see him in a form fitting shirt I think “toddler Spider Man costume with built in muscles.” Therefore, you must start showing more shots of him shirtless. Thank you in advance.

    Also- who the heck is Sharni Vinson?? That’s some crazy abs right there.

    • Krusticle

      Yes, my first thought was, Dude, get a tailor to work with those biceps. Make the suit work for you!

  10. fernichiwa

    I have no idea who this guy is – and the pics put me off googling him.

  11. guga

    all that’s missing is a pic of him with his shirt off. YUM.

  12. sophie

    Nope, sorry. I don’t dig Klutz.

  13. Vandalfan

    You ladies should be ashamed. He’s far too young for the naughty thoughts crossing my mind right now..

  14. KMG

    In some of these pics, I kind of get a poor man’s Joseph Morgan (Vampire Diaries) vibe. Anyone else see that or am I the victim of too much holiday cheer?

  15. steph527

    He is so foxy (in a cheesy way-but who doesn’t love some cheese). I’ve never seen him in movies but did love him on 30 rock. I’m liking when stars play over the top parodies of themselves. (dawson & joey for ex)

  16. fraiche

    He tucked his suit pants into his pirate boots! I CAN’T.

  17. Tiffany

    He does have a cheese that makes me feel like I couldn’t take him seriously as a heart-throb, BUT I do think he could have comic potential. He is a great looking guy (when he doesn’t get too dandy or elaborate with the facial hair), but he just makes me giggle. He needs to embrace that reaction from people.

  18. Kristen Bryant

    OMG. Is there anything hotter than a muscle-bound man in a turtleneck? No. No, there is not. DAMN.

  19. The Fugger

    stripper illusionists on ice

    December 26, 2012 – 8 AM: The moment when the loins of all of Fug Nation turned to jello.

    Re: Vandalfan – He’s over 18. That’s all that counts. Although, if you’re not interested – that’s just less competition for me!

  20. Lily1214

    Umm . . . maybe.

  21. Kara K

    Ohh, I do feel I will now enjoy him forever. He was getting there with his 30 Rock appearance (which I only just saw) but this seals it. Also how with the facial hair and the lips he looks like my precious darling Karl Urban. So: I’m on board.


  22. KarenG

    Remember Jack Cassidy, David’s supremely cheesy dad? I’m getting flashbacks of Jack here.

    • Aimly

      Hahahaha. Granted we’ve just totally dated ourselves to know who David Cassidy is much less his dad, Jack. But now that you mention it, I totally agree! Now he just needs a guest spot on Love Boat or even Love American Style (yep, I’m THAT old)

  23. Mara

    He doesn’t do anything for me, but he seems like a genuinely pleasant dude in pictures. Is there a Platonic Team Lutz? If not, can I be the founder?

    • AMS

      I will join Platonic Team Lutz, because I’ve never seen him in anything and have no idea who he is, but I think these pictures are truly hilarious. Also, I give mad props to any guy who would wear the epic sage green suede shoes in slide 16.

      • Mara

        PTL represent! Holla!

        • Helen

          Room for one more in Platonic Team Lutz? I’m too old to see sex appeal here (or he’s too young, whichever), but I think he’s funny, clearly enjoys his man-fashion, and is getting to be quite good-looking now he’s growing up. I kind of want to set him up with a cute niece who has a good sense of humor.

  24. Donna

    He wears WAY too much bronzer and makeup and he needs to lay off the eyebrow sculpting and the teeth bleaching… or, he can just do whatever he wants and continue being fairly funny.

  25. Pamb

    Did you ever see the wonderful shots that Laineygossip.com had of Kellan Lutz SITTING IN A TREE, READING A BOOK? How does that happen? Does he think it looked perfectly natural? Are we supposed to think he’s cool? Why would you climb a tree in order to read if you are over the age of 8 and not a character in a children’s book?

    So many questions…

  26. Evalyn

    I don’t know who this guy is, but I can’t get beyond the beady blue eyes. I agree with the Jack Cassidy reference.

    • Carolina Girl

      I never knew who he reminded me of until you mentioned Jack Cassidy!

      Perhaps it’s because I’ll be 45 in February, but I just don’t get the appeal of this boy (or Robert Pattinson, either). He’s got a squished looking face, beady eyes and wears more slap that Christina Aguilera. Nice body, though.

  27. kindakute

    I got to slide 15 and just had to stop. The holidays are hard enough. Thanks.

  28. sarrible

    I’m now convinced that in five years he’s going to be having a Channing Tatum Moment.

  29. Jamie B

    Did you see Funny Or Die’s #AgentHashtag? He won me over.

  30. Ghanimatrix

    Reminds me of a very young David Hasselhoff. Maybe he should do a Knight Rider reboot.

  31. Wanda

    The Magician pic struck me as, “Auditioning for the lead in a Harry Hamlin biopic with Blake Lively as Nicollette Sheridan and Lindsay Lohan as Lisa Rinna.”

  32. jean

    Hasselholf all the way. But no booze. It is time for a new Baywatch.

  33. juanita

    Who is this guy? I have to say that he comes across as a bit of a jerk in these pictures and a self-involved jerk as well! x

  34. Aurora

    I think he is quite handsome. And I personally love the facial hair.
    But that sure is a truckload of make-up they put on him!
    When he’s wearing less he’s got a really nice face.
    However, I just can’t with the crazy muscles in a turtleneck.
    I really wish they would outlaw turtlenecks…

  35. eee

    My brother-in-law worked at a movie theater where KLutz came in to do a “Twilight” meet-and-greet with fans. Bro-in-law said that KLutz was really nice with the theater staff, joking around and talking to everyone, no attitude at all. At one point he passed by my bro-in-law, who’s 6’5″ and was all “DUDE! You’re SO TALL!!!” And he replied “Really? When did THAT happen?” And then the two of them talked about their workout routines for a bit.

    Anyway, just sharing the story that supposedly he’s a normal guy. That’s all.

  36. Bambi Anne Dear

    Forgive me but I could totally wake up next to the face in pic 6 and the body in 1 & 2.

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    Hi asian guy! ; )

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  40. Celeste

    The frock is hideous so no one should wear it, ever, even the real mum of the bride, but if I had to choose, I’d go with Shailene.