Fuglor Momfug


For a while, when they were coming up, I would confuse Bridge to Terabithia‘s AnnaSophia Robb and Taylor Momsen. They look very, very similar to me. And so my theory on Josh Schwartz’s new Carrie Diaries pilot, in which Robb takes on the Carrie Bradshaw role, is that perhaps the part would’ve been Taylor Momsen’s to lose if she hadn’t, you know, gone all Taylor Momsen on us.

Although let’s be frank: This is actually better than everything she wore during her Fug Madness 2011 run.

Oh, Rapunzel. Go back to your tower. Am I the only one who’d LOVE to see her with a choppy bob, or  maybe a pixie?

But hey, the rest of her is not pervy or naked, at least, and somebody finally suggested to her that if she’s hell-bent (pun intended, thanks to her shirt) on using coal like it’s kohl, a lighter lip will suffice. However, we need to talk about the latest thing I’m afraid of with her. Specifically, that she will — like so many young, pretty, and heavily made-up starlets before her, start dating this fellow event attendee:

Taylor Momsen Manson has a hilarious ring to it, but that is IT. Nothing else about it would be funny except that I guess they could share makeup boxes.

Wait, what?

Loincloth WHAT?

No, Taylor. Get up.

I SAID GET UP. WHY AREN’T YOUR PARENTS MAKING YOU GET UP.

YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. ABORT. ABORT.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (87):

  1. Stefanie
    +1

    I was just skimming when I clicked the cut and I must have made a funny face because my co worker just asked me what was wrong.

    THAT is what is wrong. Right there. RUN TAYLOR RUN!

  2. amys
    0

    How dreadful.

  3. Linda
    0

    That was wrong right before I eat lunch…

  4. theotherjennifer
    0

    OMFG….

  5. MelissaW
    +1

    Oh my god…OH MY GOD!!! WHAT IS SHE DOING!!??!!?? NO, NO!! RUN BACK THE WAY YOU CAME!!! (I can’t look).

  6. Jasmine
    0

    HORRIFYING.

    Her hair skeeves me out, but not even close to how skeeved out I am by the very last picture. CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.

    • blizzybee
      0

      Skeeved out is right. That last picture is going to haunt my dreams for weeks (maybe years) to come. Yep, just tried closing my eyes to make it go away…..but there they still are. Open mouths and grody-grossness burned permanently into my poor retinas.

  7. Christian
    0

    Daaang Manson’s makeup is looking sloppy these days. He’s coming to Houston on Mother’s Day this year. Part of me wants to go, but a bigger part of me admits I should have seen him in 1998 when he was the biggest star on Earth. I think Momsen’s band is opening for him? She was THREE when Antichrist Superstar came out, and FIVE when Mechnical Animals debuted. Wow.

    • Ms. Pants
      0

      I wanted to go to see The Pretty Reckless too. I really like the music to spite myself. Taylor’s voice is really good!

      That said, I saw Marilyn Manson open for Nine Inch Nails in 1994 and that was enough for me. No.

      Plus, tickets are ridiculous, especially just to see an opening band.

  8. BabyB
    +1

    o_0 oh the HORROR that my poor eyes can’t unsee!

    WHERE ARE HER PARENTS? Do they exist, or are they too busy living off her money to care about how she looks and acts? Shame on them all!

    • yeahandalso
      0

      I don’t think she speaks to her parents, she has publicly called them out for forcing her into show business at a young age. She apparently doesn’t like acting and never did.

      still sad though, she was so fresh and pretty in stuff like Paranoid Park and season one of Gossip Girl

      • nennycakes
        0

        Paranoid Park is underrated. I love that movie. That shower scene, that seems to take place over both a few minutes and a few hours, is sublime. It does perfectly what it set out to do – PP is one of those movies that can so fully, perfectly, convey the experience of the protagonist. Almost everyone misunderstands it. She was perfectly cast in it, too.

  9. emster
    0

    Awww. I’m watching Gossip Girl on Netflix, so finally know who she is. She’s a train wreck in super slow motion. I’d bet by next week, word comes out that they’re “dating.” So sad.

  10. Lindsay
    0

    Ahh…what happened to Professor Snape???

  11. Megan
    0

    I am SO CONFUSED – do I save him from her, or do I save her from him?!?

    @Christian – and now I feel old!

    http://traderjoesreviewer.blogspot.com

  12. megs283
    0

    Man. At first I was thinking “Dear God, I hope she doesn’t date John Mayer!” (where young, pretty starlets have gone before) – now I’m thinking “Dear God, where is John Mayer when you need him?!”

  13. CJ
    0

    Where ARE her parents? Dressing like whore, wearing ratty extensions and sporting eye makeup that looks like Spanky lent you his spyglass is bad. But this….this is kind of scary.

    • ceecee
      0

      “looks like Spanky lent you his spyglass”! Ha! That’s it exactly. And she fell for it twice.
      This girl always makes me want to hold her down and scrub her face. And while I was at it, I’d cut off about three feet of nasty hair extensions.

  14. Carolina Girl
    0

    Dear Ladies Who Clutch Their Pearls:
    Given the fug trajectories of his last three victims — Rose McGowan, Dita Von Teese, and Evan Rachel Wood — maybe dating Marilyn Manson wouldn’t be such a bad thing for young Taylor. Perhaps, if she takes a long hard look into the abyss, she’ll be so horrified by what she sees that she’ll run in the opposite direction and start wearing lady-like Chanel suits and vintage Dior.

    • Brooke
      0

      I am going to go with THIS. Because that last picture made me want to cry myself to sleep.

    • andrea
      0

      you, ma’am, make a very valid point.

      • melanie
        0

        Except that all of those ladies looked fine BEFORE they started dating him, and fugged WHILE they were dating him. And then recovered after they stopped dating him.

    • Ladyblahblah
      0

      I was just thinking the same thing, Carolina Girl. Dating Marilyn Manson is cheaper than years of therapy/rehab and seems to have a major scared straight effect. Maybe Lilo should hook up with him.

    • neiges
      0

      I am with the ones who like Nine Inch Nails and couldn’t really understand the Marylin Manson outcome.
      But you go Carolina Girl! Being positive, I like it. The guy must have something we can’t see because, Dita? Johnny Depp? Wood?

  15. Jill
    0

    I feel dirty.

  16. na
    0

    Momsen and Manson. It’s so perfect and horrible and tragic and epic that my brain’s having a hard time processing it.

    • Lindsay
      0

      Yes, their “couple” name would be Momson or Mansen. ManMom, mayhap?

  17. charmichael
    0

    I hope those close are made of asbestos….you know, for the fires of hell

  18. Mahastee
    0

    He is how many decades older than her?

    ***shudder***

  19. McLisa
    0

    What. Is. She. Doing. What? WHAT? Once he enters into a starlet’s life, she humiliates herself with Outfits of Horror (hello Rose McGowan’s NUDE appearance at a premiere) and eventually has to escape to France to recover by wearing weird outdated jumpers with skintight peach-colored tops.

  20. Kara
    0

    I rebuke this. Rebuke it! Get thee behind me, Momsen/Manson! Seriously, she needs some sort of intervention. She’s 18 so I guess her parents can’t make her do anything, but wow, she needs a serious shoulder-shaking and a “GIRL. PLEASE. NO. STOP. THIS IS BAD. WRONG. BAD AND WRONG, TOGETHER” from someone in her life that she’ll listen to.

    Also, her extensions are some of the worst I’ve seen. She looks like America’s Next Top Model where Tyra always slaps a long yellow (not blonde, yellow) weave on some poor unsuspecting girl’s head and it never looks good and they always ditch it the second the show is over, because they have eyes.

    • Kat
      0

      I think DListed’s Michael K. says it best when he calls those her Ramen Noodle extensions.

  21. kmalkovsky
    0

    Heather, you’d do a better job as Taylor’s mom than her actual mom.

  22. Joyce
    0

    Oh dear.

  23. Notbusy
    0

    ew ew ew ew ew

  24. Lina
    0

    So, by the time she’s 25 she’ll be able to write an amazing book, right? Assuming she climbs out of this hellhole and builds herself a real career?

  25. Mel
    0

    Pretty sure she’s been emancipated from her folks since she was 14 or something (too lazy to wiki the actual details), so legally-ish speaking, no folks to speak of. Plenty of publicists, managers, and various other handlers fully encouraging all of this nonsense, though. Disclaimer: I kinda like The Pretty Reckless but Manson makes me gag. Always has.

  26. filmcricket
    0

    Heh. As soon as I saw the cut, I was like “Huh, guess I’m going to get to see what Marilyn Manson looks like these days.”

    Agreed this is horrifying. I kind of wish Claire Huxtable and Dorothy Zbornak were real, so they could give the Momsens (and the Lohans, etc) a severe talking-to. However, it’s true that Rose McGowan and especially Evan Rachel Wood came out the other side better for the experience. (Dita kind of always had her retro thing going on, but her clothes are certainly sunnier these days.) So here’s hoping that trend continues.

  27. melanie
    0

    The look on her face always makes me want to slap her, so I can’t be too fussed about whether or not getting involved with Marilyn Manson ends up being a bad experience for her. As far as the effect it’ll have on her wardrobe, hair, and makeup, she’s got nowhere to go but up at this point.

  28. lisas
    0

    Giggle giggle snicker snicker

    You go right ahead and hit that, Taylor.

    BWA HA HA HA HA

    I like the makeup to simulate the jawline he once had.

    • melanie
      0

      Heh. I noticed that, too. Weak chin and jowly neck? Camouflage it with makeup and pretend it’s part of your edgy look.

    • Mjx
      0

      Nah, he was ALWAYS pretty chinless, it’s part of what makes him look fairly messed up.

  29. Vodka Gimlet
    0

    One word…hideous.

  30. Heironyms.
    0

    It’s The Fall of the House of Usher, The Musical!

  31. Claire Zulkey
    0

    Aw man, Marilyn is doing that “I’m going to use makeup to define my jawline” thing that Boy George does. Just get surgery, fellas! Of all people, we wouldn’t judge you.

  32. A.J.
    0

    I actually like Pretty Reckless. I know.

    But the thing that disturbs me the most, other than the 24 year age difference (ew) is the fact that the last photo he has a hold of her by the throat. Creep.-y.

  33. Mjx
    0

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA gaspgaspgasp chortle.
    Sorry, I guess this is actually pathetic (?) But when adults [technically] continue to act like they’re trying to piss off their parents, all I can do is laugh.
    I’d LOVE for these guys to get together, they deserve each other. The age gap doesn’t bother me a bit, emotionally they’re both 14, so why not? And the breakup would be epic.

    • lisas
      0

      OH MY GOD COME SIT BY ME RIGHT NOW. I feel totally inappropriate for laughing my ass off at these two knuckleheads and I need some peer validation.

  34. Wordphreak
    0

    Tragic wreck.

  35. Edith
    0

    Loincloth, what? cracks me up, which is good, because otherwise this is VERY SAD. Yet still not quite as bad as the time she wore a bustier and panties of her own “design” to the freaking Justin Bieber movie premier. Here at least she’s (a) wearing something on her lower half, and (b) dressed appropriately for the occasion, even if she seems to be making good on her promise to (c) “Fuck for Satan.”
    .

  36. M
    0

    ridiculously enough, they look hot together. on stage. as a stage act. as a play. where they are pretending. where things aren’t real. and then they go home, to their separate respective homes, take their makeup off, change into nice pink pijamas and watch ABC family. separately.

    • Charlotte
      0

      Word. This looks like it was probably a pretty fun stage set, actually, (esp. if Johnny Depp was there) but that’s IT. It is only appropriate for them to touch each other like that on stage. As an act.

  37. Katie Lynn
    0

    UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER! I was really trying not to laugh out loud and was just making a wheezing noise. Pretty sure everyone thinks I’m having some sort of seizure or asthma attack.

  38. mary lou bethune
    0

    Sick and perverted….. and ugly. and pathetically funny….

  39. katkin74
    0

    Is it sad to say that I’m so over her and her “@#% the world” attitude that it’s boring now and I don’t care? this kid is going to grow old one day and regret her wasted youth – and youthfulness. She makes Lindsey Lohan look like she had a real childhood. She’s not shocking anyone anymore; now we all just pity her. As far as Manson, I wouldn’t touch that dude with SOMEBODY ELSE’S 50 foot pole, much less my own.

    • Charlotte
      0

      Yeah, it’s hard to get super upset about this as I really don’t care for her attitude. I mean, I find it genuinely sad when any eighteen year old makes a hash out of their life, but from the looks of things she’s going into this with eyes wide open. I’d rather save my concern for people with non-self-inflicted problems.

  40. Jen from cincy
    0

    My reaction to the first picture was “Hair what?” But now that I’ve seen the full slideshow… that doesn’t seem to suffice. I wish I could wash my eyes.

  41. Aria
    0

    I won’t even try tocome up with any thing clever — it’s all been said. But going back to the original post about her hair, I remember how cute it was during early GG (not to mention how fresh and pretty she looked):

    http://www.poptower.com/gossip-girl-picture-4003.htm

    http://www.instyle.com/instyle/package/general/photos/0,,20051412_20297683_20657499,00.html

  42. Lindy
    0

    She’s wearing a PENTAGRAM on her dress, isn’t she? So her hanging with Manson makes sorta sense, I guess.

    She needs go hide and quit trying to shock everyone with how badass she is.

  43. Wren
    0

    Right before this in my RSS feed was an adorable corgi enjoying getting his fur vacuumed. THIS IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF THAT!

    (http://youtu.be/y9y22VID_3w for those who want to clear their eyes)

    • Kara
      0

      I love that video. I a) think corgis are super cute; b) didn’t know vacuuming your pets was a thing; c) thought all dogs were scared of the vacuum.

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    0

    Hey there, You have done an incredible job. I will certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I am sure they’ll be benefited from this web site.

  45. Shiitake
    0

    Considering her career trajectory, this alliance makes perfect sense.

  46. Minutiae
    0

    I’m a metalhead, so the Revolver GG Awards were all over my Facebook feed yesterday. I was wondering if this would make GFY when I saw the pics, especially because my first thought was that the Momsen would be Manson’s latest way-too-young conquest. You ladies did not disappoint me.

  47. Mongerel
    0

    *scrolls thread*
    *sighs*
    Ahhh, humans. Aren’t they cute, with the “fugging”, and the tender comments.
    /

  48. FashionShowAtLunch
    0

    This is some dark-sided shit.

  49. Miamigirl78
    0

    The blonde Morticia! Ow, my eyes!

  50. drbubbles
    0

    That’s not Rapunzel, it’s Morticia Addams’s rebellious niece. Unless that’s who Rapunzel is.

    • Edith
      0

      Hey! Morticia Addams was genuinely hot. Taylor Momsen is trying waaaaaaay too hard; the result isn’t even remotely sexy. Besides, Morticia’s hair was glorious; there’s not enough hot oil in the world to save Taylor’s hair. Eventually she’ll just have to shave it off and start over….

  51. Kayla
    0

    You know, as disgusted as I am by the last image especially, I am probably more inclined to feel sorry for Manson here. HEAR ME OUT. He at least had an actual career trajectory; Momsen has just kind of … trawled along with constant contrived attempts for attention. At least Manson was shocking in his day.
    Taylor is just … sad.

  52. Fancy
    0

    I’m starting to see a little bit of Nic Cage when I look at Marilyn Manson…am i nuts? Especially the shot with his hand on her forehead. GET IN THE CAGE, TAYLOR!

  53. Lily1214
    0

    No, no, no. I can’t see her eyes.

  54. Sajorina
    0

    When I saw the 1st dress, I thought “Ok, she’s covered and fairly decent… I’ll take it!”, but then came the biggest WTF? ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m utterly disgusted and gaging! *”eyes cannot unsee” she says as she rocks herself back & forth in the fetal position*

  55. ChaChaHeels
    0

    Even at, what, 50? Manson manages to spook people right into some senseless religious indignation. Hilarious!
    But I see a lot of 50 year old men who date girls half their age end up hurt when they’re dumped (and they are always dumped), so my money’s on Momsen being the ordeal in this relationship.

    What’s she going to get out of it? Lots of exposure as a musician (cause say what you will but Manson’s a good musician) and, if historic pattern is any indication, a hell of a fashion sense when it’s done.

  56. Sweetsinger
    0

    re: that first one in the long skirt.

    Girl: Carolyn Jones (Morticia Addams, for you young ‘uns out there) did that look better.
    Then she killed herself.
    TAKE A LESSON FROM THAT.

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