For a while, when they were coming up, I would confuse Bridge to Terabithia’s AnnaSophia Robb and Taylor Momsen. They look very, very similar to me. And so my theory on Josh Schwartz’s new Carrie Diaries pilot, in which Robb takes on the Carrie Bradshaw role, is that perhaps the part would’ve been Taylor Momsen’s to lose if she hadn’t, you know, gone all Taylor Momsen on us.

Although let’s be frank: This is actually better than everything she wore during her Fug Madness 2011 run.

Oh, Rapunzel. Go back to your tower. Am I the only one who’d LOVE to see her with a choppy bob, or  maybe a pixie?

But hey, the rest of her is not pervy or naked, at least, and somebody finally suggested to her that if she’s hell-bent (pun intended, thanks to her shirt) on using coal like it’s kohl, a lighter lip will suffice. However, we need to talk about the latest thing I’m afraid of with her. Specifically, that she will — like so many young, pretty, and heavily made-up starlets before her, start dating this fellow event attendee:

Taylor Momsen Manson has a hilarious ring to it, but that is IT. Nothing else about it would be funny except that I guess they could share makeup boxes.

Wait, what?

Loincloth WHAT?

No, Taylor. Get up.

I SAID GET UP. WHY AREN’T YOUR PARENTS MAKING YOU GET UP.

YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. ABORT. ABORT.

[Photos: Getty]