“PEOPLE OF EARTH:
“When I take over your planet, I and my vice-overlord Taylor Momsen will require that 90 percent of your thighs show at all times, and we will insist that panties be made out of tin foil and that you take scissors to at least three things you’re wearing at any given moment, and then we will play Civilans and Interplanetary Warlords until bedtime — so basically, it will be one giant slumberparty, but nakeder, and with no games of MASH. Wait, maybe one, but only if I ended up married to Jon Hamm. ARE YOU WITH ME?”
“Wait, hang on, I forgot to mention that all your crotches will be replaced with touch-screen Ataris that are playing either Asteroids or Space Invaders. That’s okay, right? You’re still on board with this, right? We’ll eat the worm together and everything? Yeah? YEAH. BOW DOWN AND OBEY.”
