British Fashion Awards: Fugs, Fabs, Fehs, and Some Random Fuggers

The British Fashion Awards last night were full of poorly dressed people I had to look up on Wikipedia — well, with a few exceptions, like La Schiffer here. If we ever get to the point where somebody says to me, “Who the hell is Claudia Schiffer? Excuse me while I turn to Wikipedia,” then I will know I am ancient and will pull on my support hose and retire to the rocker on my porch, where I will dole out Werther’s to passing children and offer them a shiny quarter to tint my hair blue and pluck my mustache.

Rather than force you to read entry after entry of marginally accurate facts about marginally Wikipedia’d people, I figured I’d put a whole bunch of these lucky guests into one Slideshow of Semi-Random Fuggery and then let y’all talk up the various merits and demerits of the fashion in the comments. Starting with Schiff’s funky number here that occasionally looks like she’s shooting fire out of her uterus. I bet that comes in handy when she wants to make s’mores.

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Comments (25):

  1. TonyG

    For some reason, Daphne Guinness, made me long for SWINTON, who would really rock that outfit. I think it was hair that made me think of SWINTON. And once, I did, I wanted Daphne to disappear.

  2. Stephanie

    Is it bad that I only remember Claudia Schiffer from Love Actually? [Not that you're old, I just don't know my models.]

  3. Rayna

    Re: Christina Rhianoff (#10). Lonely ostriches need love, too.

    Just sayin’.

  4. Lori

    I’ve never heard of this Daisy Lowe person, but I’m pretty convinced that she’s the British version of Taylor Momsen. At least we aren’t being force-fed her boobs or ladybits! (Which reminds me of something awesome my Tennesseean mother says: “that skirt is so short that every time she bends over, you can look up her name and address.”)

  5. Katharine

    As they do far too often, the British once again put the scare quotes in “fashion”.

    Daphne Guinness IS looking remarkably restrained for this event.

  6. andrea

    You’re old, Fug Girls, because my 30-year-old boyfriend did not know who Claudia Schiffer was until I told him. This means that I, too, am old.

    But he was kind of sheltered as a child, so perhaps that’s it? Yeah, that’s it.

  7. Sandra

    These people design clothes that other people, sane people, are supposed to WEAR?? And people say that Americans have no sense of style.

  8. cs2aq

    I actually like the sartorial choices of Claudia and Daphanie and Alexa and Charlotte and VV Brown – all she needs is a little hemming – and the woman with the “parasite” dress and Daisy. Are you running out of people to fug? You guys used to post crazy outfits and now you’re posting about a woman in a neutral, cream-colored gown with a black belt. I feel like this post was less about fugging something truly fugworthy and more about the writer’s personal disagreement with a dress choice. I will continue to read the cite because as long as Mischa Barton is running free, there will still be good fugs. But I hope at some point you guys get back to your fugging roots.

    @ Lori – I think you are referring to Alice Dellal, who was wearing the super short and ugly dress, not Daisy, who was wearing a floor length gown.

  9. JJ

    Hmmm. Well I have to admit, I’m British and recognised NONE of them bar Claudia , Alexa and Daisy; all of whom normally look better(ish)
    As for the rest? I don’t even have words. I think it’s time I emmigrated.

  10. Adam

    I love, love, love Daphne Guinness… For no good reason, really, because I’ve loved her since long before she bought all of Isabella Blow’s clothes so they wouldn’t have to be split up like little orphans (a sentiment I think anyone obsessed with clothing would find comforting!). I really did a spit-take on your Alexa Chung writeup! And you’re 100% right about her prim attire. I don’t “get” the Dellals, and that makes me feel old; conversely there will never be a time when the Supes OR Claudia Schiffer is forgotten, so you’ll never have to worry about that sign of aging. And lastly: Kristina Rhianoff’s boots make me feel a murderous rage…

  11. jen

    Good lord. Please tell me none of these people actually WON anything.

  12. LoriK

    The combination of hair streaks and headband made me think that Daphne Guinness was wearing Micky Mouse ears. I think that made the outfit more interesting, but I doubt that was the effect she was going for. Or was it? It’s Daphne Guinness so I guess anything is possible.

  13. Kate

    What….happened here?? Some of the oddest choices I’ve ever seen (I definitely have to disagree with whomever said that most of these are fug-worthy enough….black feathers bursting forth from your abdomen while you wear a sad satin sheet?)

    I’m not sure I should, but I love Claudia’s dress. It’s interesting yet poiished, although I question the shoe choice.

    Also, in response to Lori – when I tried to leave the house in short skirts, my mom would say “thats so short I can see what you had for breakfast.” Wait, why did I just confess this to the world??

  14. Kate

    correction – I disagree with whomever said these are NOT fug-worthy enough.

  15. vandalfan

    And now I want mashed potatoes for dinner.
    Sadly, this confirms my belief that every good-looking human up and left the shores of Merrye Olde England several hundred years ago. Get a load of those noses! Those foreheads! The- gulp- vast expanses of pasty skin. These outfits and their bearers are hysterical, the captions even more. (And I love the new slide-show feature!)

  16. Julia

    As it stands, the most interesting (and upsetting) trend I noticed is the ankle-socks-with-pumps fiasco. The 80′s called and they’re suing for copyright infringement. Katie, VV, don’t think your army of lace and tassels was going to distract us from the real tragedy here. I’m all for snugly warm toes, it’s the ugly part that gets me.

  17. DC Hats

    DC HatsThat was a great piece of information., I enjoyed reading it..,

  18. Connie

    Why are you no longer watching Bones? Tomorrow’s episode is supposed to ROCK.

  19. minette

    great dress on daphne (whom i secretly consider a style muse). i think it’s the hair.

    omg, way to make your boobs look hideous, delall girls! how unflattering can dresses be!

    cute dress on chung – would like to see the tulle in motion, though. it might make it more interesting if it actually does something when you walk.

    and great dress on the last one, but sorta wasted on her. sigh.

  20. Jill

    You know, I was wondering who made Phoebe Price’s outfits.

  21. Miss_Miffy

    Yasmin Le Bon unveiled a statue of herself the other week. Here are some photos of her looking desperately embarrassed next to her nude, bronze self (art, so SFW):–remains-covered.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

  22. lola

    I love both Alexa and Charlotte’s outfits, and like Daisy’s dress though it’s been done a lot before…..and though I usually think Claudia Schiffer looks like she and Mischa Barton may well be long lost sisters with their shlumpy, mismatching church sale clothes (with no sense of irony!) – she looks pretty good here. I’m just sayin…
    The rest of the group come’s in 2 bags- Bag 1: 80′s rerun. He’re we’ve got garb such as 80′s summer dresses, 80′s heavy metal video tramp dresses, 80′s tea length cocktail dresses, 80′s Madonna inspired cupcake dresses (just need fishnet gloves); and Bag 2: Costume craziness. …oh and there is one disco pantsuit thrown in.

  23. Sweetsinger

    Just confirms that Brits have no clue about fashion when all the designers show up in expensive sacks and call them dresses.

  24. atz

    I like Claudia’s dress! The colors are great on her. And the black boney one is also kind of pretty, but I think that random girl could have backed off the hair and makeup so she didn’t look like she was totally in costume.

  25. Trinkvasser

    Vandalfan – Claudia is German. Yasmin’s parents come from Iran. VV Brown is half Puerto-Rican and half Jamaican. Alexa’s dad is Chinese in heritage. Your ideas about ‘teh English’ clearly come from a very informed and hilarious place (e.g. looking at pictures in magazine). Well fecking done.