We Found Love in a Hopeless Fug

I’ve decided that, sometime around the Grammys, Rihanna turned to someone (a stylist, a friend, Drake), and was all like, “I’m really into ROBES right now,” and that person just nodded and ate another Dorito.

I have spent a great portion of the Dorito-eating time of this day, in fact, trying to figure out what this is. I thought she had a bra-top on, and then I remembered that is just her tattoo — I am kind of secretly amused by a tattoo that fools judgmental bloggers into thinking you’re wearing more undergarments than you are; it’s totally practical in that sense. So I think we’ve got, from head to toe: wig, parka, leather trench, wrap skirt, great shoes? Now is the moment where you do the opposite of Coco Chanel and put just one more thing on (a shirt) and we are in hot sexy business. So close!



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Comments (35):

  1.  Amalia

    I feel like this is her Natasha costume. Is Drake Boris??

  2. gayle

    I could do with a little less side boob action but this whole look is just so her to me I can’t be mad at it.

  3. Jacquilynne

    I’m sorry, but those are not great shoes. I can see the straps biting into her feet in ugly ways from all the way over here.

  4. marylou bethune

    Trollop wear daily…

    • ceedeegee57

      Well we went from that nice sexy-fun-flirty magazine cover back to… well as I’m I man I won’t say it, so back to you marylou!

  5. nobody much

    if it’s cold enough to wear a trench and a parka, isn’t it cold enough for tights or a shirt?

  6. Bottle Ginger

    She gets point for actually wearing a coat in February, which shows admirable practicality. But she loses double those points for wearing PURPLE LIPSTICK WITH AN OLIVER GREEN OUTFIT!!

    • Lucille Austero

      I was just about to say that I love the fuschia lipstick. Who was it who said that fuschia is a dangerous word to spell?

      • Squirrel!

        Someone who thinks the correct spelling, fuchsia, is counterintuitive? :-)

        (I’m sorry; I didn’t know how to phrase that without sounding incredibly obnoxious. The word DOES have an unexpected spelling!)

        •  HelenBackAgain

          I know, you’d think it WOULD be “fuschia,” but nooooo… the flower is named after botanist Leonhart Fuchs, is why. That helps me remember.

    •  Jules

      That colour combo makes her look recently exhumed.

  7. Beth C.

    I actually kinda like the leather trench and skirt as dress look, it’s neat, but if she just buttoned the button above the belt it would look like “I did this on purpose” as opposed to “the fire alarm in the dorms went off at 4am and I grabbed whatever was draped over the desk chair and ran outside without turning on the lights.”

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  9. Tiffany

    I think this would look really great if she lost the top layer and straightened up the wig. Oh, and buttoned up a bit.

  10. Aria

    Lose the parka & add a button so we don’t have to see the bra tattoo and I love it. I even love the wig!

  11. Gypsy Danger

    This is kind of crazy in an 80′s business woman way, but I think she’s working it.

  12.  HelenBackAgain

    The leather trench is gorgeous. I’d like to see a real outfit built around that.

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  14. Karin

    I like her hair cut (wig). And her shoes are interesting. There. I’ve said two nice things.

    Now, is this look something I should be worried about? I don’t think my winter jacket is big enough for me to fit my trench coat under it. hmmm. logistics…

  15. Brenna

    You know, this is so perfectly her that I can’t hate it completely. But that color is heinous on her.

  16. greatwhitenorthchick

    Love this colour; she should wear it more often. If not for the over-decolletage, this looks great on her. (even the lipstick!)

  17. Rachael

    This is an “almost.” I think the hairstyle is great on her, if only she would have moved that hair on the right side (her left) out of her face. The heavy bangs and blunt cut look great on her. And her makeup is on point, especially her exceptional cat-eye. There aren’t many people who could pull off that color lipstick, but she’s doing it.

    The outfit is also shockingly close to being good. If the skirt slit didn’t nearly show me things I don’t want to see, and the trench/robe/short closed up a little higher, it might actually be . . . good? The color is awful, except it actually looks pretty nice on Rihanna. And her shoes are great. So… not quite, but not as terrible as you might expect, and not as terrible as this collection of things might be on someone else.

    •  HelenBackAgain

      The thing is, she’s such a good model. Balmain did well to choose her for their 2014 spring campaign. This really looks like an advertisement for the designer of the clothes, and it would be a good, effective ad, too.

    •  Ashley

      Totally agreed. I adore her and I think she’s kind of serving this, the same way she does with almost all her crazy-ass outfits. It’s not perfect but this is the closest any human could come to pulling this off.

  18. swellcatt

    This leather trench is her shirt, DUH! Hey, she said in Vogue that if she wears a shirt, she’s not wearing a bra and if she wears a bra, she’s not wearing a shirt, so to her, this = shirt.

    •  HelenBackAgain

      Setting aside the fact that that’s a problem in itself, here she’s wearing neither a bra nor a shirt.

  19. Sandra

    I really don’t understand choosing “Walk of Shame: Fort Leavenworth” as your aesthetic when circumstances don’t demand it.

  20. Claire

    The fug is that? She is awful.

  21. Erin

    I kind of dig the purple lipstick with the green outfit. This is remarkably good for Rhianna considering she does “trashy” so well. I feel like she stepped up a bit.

  22. TonyG

    I am not in love with the color, but she is working this.

    It’s an outfit that I love on her, but I probably wouldn’t like on most people.

  23. sandra

    it’s kinda crazy that she’s wearing this many layers but still isn’t fully dressed. that said, i think she’s working it.